Caution: Hand over the Chocolate and stay clear away!!

"Where did You hide MY *#@$*# chocolate?!!!", Jenny screamed expletively at Paul, our work colleague who had decided to play an untimely prank on Jenny the Chocoholic. Jenny was seething with anger and I could practically see the steam coming out of her ears. Paul was laughing and was amused with Jenny's reaction. Meanwhile, I was surprised and a little intimidated to be honest, with the scene playing in front of my eyes. Yes, Jenny was clearly not impressed that Paul had hidden her chocolate, and I was not impressed with her reaction to the prank. However, despite Jenny's unlady-like behaviour, I could understand why she had overreacted. Paul, a new staff member was not aware, that Jenny experienced severe PMS (Premenstrual Syndrome) every month. Her moods swung like a pendulum in a grandfather clock. The only time that she seemed to be calm was when she was eating chocolate or having a cigarette break. 

Jenny snatched her beloved chocolate that was returned to her and I watched as she eagerly unwrapped the red Kit-Kat wrapper and devoured her chocolate with her eyes closed. She then opened her eyes and calmly said with a satisfied smile on her face, "I need at least 60g of chocolate, to get my fix each day".  I smiled at her and thought to myself, "She sounds like a drug addict". Yes, this is a true story that happened over ten years ago at my first workplace, after graduating from university. 

For many women around the world, chocolate is one of the first foods that is craved when a woman is experiencing PMS. It is not surprising that women crave chocolate during this time. The cocoa that is in chocolate, has one of the highest natural sources of magnesium. Women can be deficient of magnesium during the time leading up to their period. Magnesium itself can help individuals to relax and is used to help relieve anxiety. When I share this information with my clients, who come to El'ohim Clinic for women's health issues such as PMS and other fertility related issues, they are very surprised. Some men who accompany the women to their appointment, like to joke that they have PMS because they crave chocolate as well. 

Premenstrual syndrome, more commonly known as PMS includes physical and emotional symptoms, that varies each menstrual cycle and differs from woman to woman. Some women have shared, that before they came for treatment at El'ohim Clinic- FertilityCare they didn't know about the wide range of symptoms associated with PMS. In some cases, the women were not even aware that they had PMS. They assumed that it was "normal" to feel anxious, emotional, angry, fatigued or have migraines leading up to their period. There are other symptoms, such as food cravings for sweet or salty foods, bloating, breast tenderness and depression.

Woman who chart their menstrual cycles every month are able to pinpoint when their PMS symptoms appear in their cycle and have their issues addressed.

 Woman who chart their menstrual cycles every month are able to pinpoint when their PMS symptoms appear in their cycle and have their issues addressed.This can be done with the assistance of a FertilityCare and NaProTechnology medical treatment plan. PMS symptoms that clients are taught to monitor at El'ohim Clinic- FertilityCare, in association with other medical symptoms observed by the FertilityCare team is a sign of hormonal imbalance. Your PMS and other medical symptoms can be treated naturally and holistically, which also includes assessing your lifestyle  for factors such as diet and stress to name a few. 

I have had husbands who joke that they now have a "new wife" after she has received effective treatment for PMS. They share with me that the mood of the house has changed. Instead of avoiding their wife due to frequent tantrums, tension and tears leading up to the period, the atmosphere is much calmer. The wife may sometimes disagree with the magnitude of her anger but admits that she was difficult to live with, when she was at the height of her PMS duration. It is a common story, that I have repeatedly heard from women and couples over the years of my work as a clinician-practitioner. It is what I call the "Jekyll and Hyde" effect,  sweet and amicable one moment and in the words of one woman, "horrid and monstrous" the next moment. 

Yes, PMS is an unpleasant condition that women have to bear to varying degrees each menstrual cycle, that also affects other people that the women interact with either at home or work. I listened with amusement when a close friend told me that some companies, accommodated the high number of women who experience PMS each month, with various initiatives to alleviate their monthly tension. Specifically, the company that he worked for had a room full of porcelain plates, the female employees were encouraged to smash plates whenever they needed to release their anger and tension due to PMS.  In fact, it was so popular it was written into their work contract that they could take these "plate smashing sessions" in lieu of  cigarette breaks. Unbelievable, but true!! :)  

You have most probably heard of women, who do and say terrible things out of anger and then say "Oh, it's not me. It was the PMS". If you're a woman, you may have said this yourself. Athough, I agree that PMS is due to a hormonal imbalance with the presentation of varying physical and emotional symptoms. I do not believe that it is right to contribute the vented anger soley on PMS. Humans have the ability to think, discern and make conscious decisions of what is "right and wrong". Having PMS can compound any emotions of tension, irritation or anger but we can try to control our emotions. We certainly have power over what we speak.  

The Bible speaks about this in, Proverbs 18: 21 - " Life and death are in the power of the tongue".  Which means that we can speak "life" into our relationships with our children, husband, friends and family, by speaking with gentleness and respect. 

Or we can certainly  "kill" our relationships, with our harsh, abrasive words and actions if we are continually not careful. So to clarify, having PMS can contribute to further feelings of anger and tension but we also need to be mindful of what we say and do. Take accountability for your actions, rather than using that common phrase "Oh, it's not me. It was the PMS". Taking a calm approach is less stressful for everyone and will help you to handle PMS much more effectively. 

At El'ohim Clinic- your PMS and other women's health or stress related issues can be addressed with the FertilityCare treatment program and/or Holistic Counselling to maximize treatment.

Undying Love and Special Place For The Unborn Child

Imagine feeling indescribable joy and anticipation at the arrival of your new unborn child, preparations are excitedly made for the big arrival. The special day is even more momentous, especially if it has been a difficult journey trying to conceive for many years. Then one day unexpectedly, you lose your unborn child through a miscarriage. Unfortunately, this happens to thousands of women everyday around the world and also to the women and couples who attend El'ohim Clinic- FertilityCare. In some cases, women can unknowingly have a miscarriage not realising the full significance of the  spotting or light bleeding that occurred at an unusual time in their menstrual cycle. Only to find out from their doctor that they were actually in the earlier stages of pregnancy. 

Ann Romney, devoted wife of Mitt Romney who is the 2012 Presidential candidate for  the Republican Party recently shared her story of having a miscarriage when she was in her forties in an interview with CBS on "This Morning". She spoke about the emotional impact it had on her and especially her youngest son, Craig. Meanwhile, her husband dressed more casually than the public usually see him, was listening with avid interest to his wife's story.  It was interesting to observe that Mitt Romney didn't seem to openly show much emotion when Ann Romney shared about the loss of their unborn baby. The only exception was when she reaccounted the story about Craig's grief over the loss of either a new baby brother or sister.

So what is officially considered a miscarriage? A miscarriage also known as a spontanteous abortion is when an unborn baby dies spontanteously before the 20 weeks of gestation. It is not uncommon for women who are in their forties, like Ann Romney was, to be at a higher risk of having a miscarriage. So yes, the age of the woman when she conceives is an important factor for increasing the chances of a miscarriage. Women in this age group who are able to conceive, are premenopausal and are inevitably not far away from menopause. There is a shift in the hormonal balance. Whether or not a woman is premenopausal or belongs to a younger age group, one of the major causes for a miscarriage is due to progesterone deficiency. This can be addressed with natural progesterone treatment available through FertilityCare and NaProTechnology treatment. 

Women and couples who have experienced the loss of their unborn child, can often experience a range of emotions. Most obviously are the feelings of immense sorrow, grief and guilt. I remember one grief stricken woman telling me her feelings of loss were so overwhelming that she wanted to die. The woman had miscarried her baby over 20 years ago, but even to the day she was sitting in my office. I could feel and see her overwhelming pain and sorrow as tears streamed down her face. Time as they say, does not always lead to healing. The emotions were sadly still fresh and very real, despite the passage of time. 

It is not uncommon for women who have lost their unborn child to have feelings of guilt and start thinking about all the things that they should or shouldn't have done, that may have prevented the miscarriage. I have had several women over the years who say that GOD is "punishing" them for having pre-marital sex in their teenage years, that consequently got them pregnant and ended with them having several induced abortions. Obviously this is not true, but it can sometimes be very hard to change their mindset about this when they are so adamant that this is the "hand of GOD". 

Although, Ann Romney's miscarriage happened over 20 years ago it is obvious that it still has an emotional impact on her life. It would be hard not to be affected especially when the consequence of her miscarriage, bore such a heavy emotional weight for her youngest son at the time. She retold the story with such vividness, as though it had only happened recently.  Craig was not only grieving over the loss of a new brother or sister but also the loss of what could have been. In his case, most presumably the honour of being an older brother to his younger sibling and having a new playmate to nurture in his own special way. His dreams of being an older brother were shattered at that moment in his young life, when his mother gently spoke to him about the death of the newest family member. 

Ann Romney shared that her son, Craig had being "holding this sorrow inside of him....having no one to speak, no one to comfort him". This is a good example of how it can be psychologically, for father's who have lost their baby through miscarriage. Although it is unintentional, when a couple experience the loss of their baby the focus is centred more heavily on the mother's psychological well being. That is not surprising, considering she is the parent who experienced the physical termination of the pregnancy. Meanwhile, the husband does his best to remain "strong" for his wife when he is equally or in some cases that I've witnessed is seemingly more devasted about the loss of his unborn baby than his wife. So he internalizes his grief and loss by shutting everyone out, including his wife and buries himself with longer hours of work or other projects to escape the emotional pain.  At El'ohim Clinic- Counselling, I have had the priviledge of being included in the emotional journey of these grieving parents and seeing how they gradually heal when they come to terms with their loss. However, I think that there will always be an emotional scar that may not fade away, especially when there is a resurrgence of emotions around the time of the death anniversary. The experience of having a miscarriage and the healing process  is always going to be different for every parent, but one common ground that they all have is the undying love and special place that they hold deeply in their heart for the unborn child that they never got the chance to kiss and hold in their arms.